In my experience, pretty much all of the dating websites have a system for you to signal other users that you are interested without actually sending a message. For the most part, I find these sort of notifications irritating. If you're interested in me, send a message. Sending a "smile" "wink" or "flirt" just puts the onus on me to make the contact when it's you who is supposed to be showing interest.
Today I had two different users send me smiles that just had me shaking my head and needing to complain to my coworkers about the disheartening process of online dating.
First, I received a smile from "KARLM". He sent a little note with his smile. (This site allows you to choose from a drop-down menu one or two sentences to go with your smile. Because people who can't write messages need even more assistance at being unoriginal.) His drop-down selection note said,
"I couldn't resist the fact that you are drop-dead gorgeous. Ask me how I'm going to rock your world."
Who is KARLM? A 60-year old man.
He also sent me an actual note to my inbox. The message this 60 year old man is trying to woo me with read,
"Here is some information about me. I have been a widower since 2001. I have 3 kids that are grown up . . . My hobbies include collecting antique cars and maintaining an active social life."
I'm sorry KARLM that you were widowed in 2001. But you know what I was doing in 2001? Turning 20 years old! Your children are probably my age - maybe even older. Perhaps instead of trying to pick me up on a dating site, you should send a son my way.
A few hours later, another user sent me a smile. There was no note, just a profile to read. And after over a year of online dating, this is one I haven't experienced yet . . . "Cool_Couple1"'s profile reads,
"We are a professional couple seeking a fun female to share good times with, Preferable she enjoys good food and great wine and likes to dance. Having fun and enjoying each other's company is most important. Although we have no expectations, should there be a connection, then being intimate would be great. If you are interested, don't be shy and send a smile."
Seriously why is it too much to ask that I find a boyfriend who is my own age and doesn't have a wife?
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Comment dit-ons "verbal abuse" en francais?
Sometime early last summer I went on a date with "max8803". It was an okay date. Beforehand, one of the things that interested me about him is that he's originally from Quebec City (I used to live and work there). But as the date went on, I began to feel like the main thing we had in common was our love for Quebec City.
I remember telling a friend afterwards, that at one point when I was talking during the date, I could see that he was quite "taken" by me. At the time, I remember wishing that I felt the same and wondering when I would sit across from someone and we'd both be feeling that.
The only thing that was somewhat awkward about the date was that he kept wanting to kiss me. I'm fine to end a first date with a kiss, but multiple kisses in the middle of a pub in daylight is more awkward to me than romantic. We didn't have any contact after that first date.
Until recently . . .
I logged into my online dating profile and in my inbox was a message from "max8803". I recognized his profile picture and was surprised to hear from him. I was even more shocked when I read the message . . .
"Salope ! je me rapelle tres bien de toi ... tu es une chienne
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
I speak French, so I knew that the translation is,
"Slut ! i remember you well ... you are a bitch" (excessive exclamations marks)
Firstly, I'm baffled by what could possibly have caused such extreme anger from this man 9 months after we had a single date.
Secondly, I could not have been that terrible because he was trying to make out with me throughout our date. I can only guess that my reluctance sparked his anger?
Thirdly, it's sad that there are people out there who actually will just sit down at their computer to send nasty verbally abusive messages to others.
Finally, I guess I have underestimated the effect I can have on men. If one date has him hanging on to anger this much after all this time, who knows who else out there is reeling from a couple hours of my presence.
I remember telling a friend afterwards, that at one point when I was talking during the date, I could see that he was quite "taken" by me. At the time, I remember wishing that I felt the same and wondering when I would sit across from someone and we'd both be feeling that.
The only thing that was somewhat awkward about the date was that he kept wanting to kiss me. I'm fine to end a first date with a kiss, but multiple kisses in the middle of a pub in daylight is more awkward to me than romantic. We didn't have any contact after that first date.
Until recently . . .
I logged into my online dating profile and in my inbox was a message from "max8803". I recognized his profile picture and was surprised to hear from him. I was even more shocked when I read the message . . .
"Salope ! je me rapelle tres bien de toi ... tu es une chienne
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
I speak French, so I knew that the translation is,
"Slut ! i remember you well ... you are a bitch" (excessive exclamations marks)
Firstly, I'm baffled by what could possibly have caused such extreme anger from this man 9 months after we had a single date.
Secondly, I could not have been that terrible because he was trying to make out with me throughout our date. I can only guess that my reluctance sparked his anger?
Thirdly, it's sad that there are people out there who actually will just sit down at their computer to send nasty verbally abusive messages to others.
Finally, I guess I have underestimated the effect I can have on men. If one date has him hanging on to anger this much after all this time, who knows who else out there is reeling from a couple hours of my presence.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Suitors from Afar
The messages from men overseas keep on rolling in! It honestly confuses me, because all of my profiles very clearly state that I'm looking for someone living a reasonable distance from me. Outside of my city I could consider. Outside of the province? Country? Continent? Really?
"vickyrulz" messaged today,
" Hi would like to be your friend.... probably it may not be best way to ask but I think it should be simple and genuine .... hope you reply... Take care "
Nothing wrong with his message. But the fact that he's living in Bombay, India I think will make it difficult for us to hang out and become the friends he's hoping for.
"mareksolarik" wrote to me last week,
" Beautiful woman, I would like to meet you. I am from Europe, I work as a physiotherapist and maser, and specializes in feet. I met a number of amazing woman for life together. "
I guess what confuses me more than him messaging me from Europe, is that he's apparently already met a number of amazing women to spend his life with.
I love travel and I have actually had very few relationships with Canadian men. But it always started with us being in the same place. A long-distance-across-the-ocean-relationship isn't really what I'm looking for.
"vickyrulz" messaged today,
" Hi would like to be your friend.... probably it may not be best way to ask but I think it should be simple and genuine .... hope you reply... Take care "
Nothing wrong with his message. But the fact that he's living in Bombay, India I think will make it difficult for us to hang out and become the friends he's hoping for.
"mareksolarik" wrote to me last week,
" Beautiful woman, I would like to meet you. I am from Europe, I work as a physiotherapist and maser, and specializes in feet. I met a number of amazing woman for life together. "
I guess what confuses me more than him messaging me from Europe, is that he's apparently already met a number of amazing women to spend his life with.
I love travel and I have actually had very few relationships with Canadian men. But it always started with us being in the same place. A long-distance-across-the-ocean-relationship isn't really what I'm looking for.
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Saturday, 2 March 2013
A Devotee To My Inner Goddess
I've been holding on to this gem of a story for far too long . . .
Awhile ago, I received a message from "mokkssh". I don't know how to begin to comment on what he wrote to me. So I'll allow him to do the rest of the talking.
" would you love to create an ambience where it would be more passionate and making love together. something more matured than just jumping into bed and having sex. flirting, teasing, passionate kisses are flowing like the sparkles from the champagne .. creating mutual romantic, physical and alluring sexual love making chemistry, which is so erotic and exotic ..
we sitting and relaxing in a tub bath, filled with hot bubbles and salt, you relaxing on my chest and i am massaging your back and squeezing you in my arms, nibbling your back and your neck and your ear lobes .. bitting you and caressing you in my arms .. we shower and touch each other making us aroused and in dire situation to tear each other apart ..
we step into a fantasy room which is filled with candles, you step out of the shower, wrapped around in a cloth. standing like a greek goddess shimmering in golden dust and walk towards me. every walk stomps my heart beat to the apex and drops it right down.
you lay on top of me and the cold water off your hair drips on my face, i feel the warmth of your body pressing into my chest. the nervousness and sweaty bodies makes the moment more intense, we breathing hard on each other .. looking deep into your eyes, looking at the candle lights shimmer in your eyes ..
pour a basket full of rose petals on your body and kissing every drop of exposed skin on your body .. picking every rose petal off your skin and blowing it away making way to expose your wet tantalizing skin .. kissing from your forehead to your earlobes, to your neck. going down, kissing every drop off your body, you try to escape, will pin you to the wall, kiss your back and your neck.
the intense love making on body to body, soul to soul. i would love to be a devotee to your inner goddess .. "
Reading the message makes me feel so gross I want to shower. Except he wrote about showering and I'm afraid to shower and think of mokkssh. Glad I showered after work today.
Awhile ago, I received a message from "mokkssh". I don't know how to begin to comment on what he wrote to me. So I'll allow him to do the rest of the talking.
" would you love to create an ambience where it would be more passionate and making love together. something more matured than just jumping into bed and having sex. flirting, teasing, passionate kisses are flowing like the sparkles from the champagne .. creating mutual romantic, physical and alluring sexual love making chemistry, which is so erotic and exotic ..
we sitting and relaxing in a tub bath, filled with hot bubbles and salt, you relaxing on my chest and i am massaging your back and squeezing you in my arms, nibbling your back and your neck and your ear lobes .. bitting you and caressing you in my arms .. we shower and touch each other making us aroused and in dire situation to tear each other apart ..
we step into a fantasy room which is filled with candles, you step out of the shower, wrapped around in a cloth. standing like a greek goddess shimmering in golden dust and walk towards me. every walk stomps my heart beat to the apex and drops it right down.
you lay on top of me and the cold water off your hair drips on my face, i feel the warmth of your body pressing into my chest. the nervousness and sweaty bodies makes the moment more intense, we breathing hard on each other .. looking deep into your eyes, looking at the candle lights shimmer in your eyes ..
pour a basket full of rose petals on your body and kissing every drop of exposed skin on your body .. picking every rose petal off your skin and blowing it away making way to expose your wet tantalizing skin .. kissing from your forehead to your earlobes, to your neck. going down, kissing every drop off your body, you try to escape, will pin you to the wall, kiss your back and your neck.
the intense love making on body to body, soul to soul. i would love to be a devotee to your inner goddess .. "
Reading the message makes me feel so gross I want to shower. Except he wrote about showering and I'm afraid to shower and think of mokkssh. Glad I showered after work today.
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