I came across a link to this fantastic collection of photos that make me pretty darn pleased to be single instead of engaged.
11 Engagement Photos That Will Make You Happy You’re Single
Friday, 8 November 2013
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Could I Buy You A Book?
I came across this on Pinterest and think it's brilliant. I'd love it if some man approached me with this offer.
Tuesday, 8 October 2013
Perfect in Digital Form
Joe seemed great in the digital form. He looked handsome in his photos. He was educated and had a good job. He's traveled and is active. We messaged a number of times and all signs indicated it was worth a face to face.
We met at Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon. Not really a set-up for a great romantic moment, but certainly good for a first meeting and get to know you time. He was just as handsome, if not more so, in person. First great thing. Unfortunately, things began slowly going downhill from there.
Joe was so awkward! There was just something strange about him. He spoke very softly and between that and his accent, I found it difficult to hear him - though he also didn't speak a whole lot. I did nearly all of the question-asking. Usually if I got a question back it was just a "You?" turning the same question back on me. Meanwhile, he kept staring at me really intently. Now, eye contact is important in general, but hardly ever breaking a look away? That is just uncomfortable on the receiving end.
For the first half hour, I kept asking the questions and getting the short answers. It began to almost feel like he was evading telling me things about himself. I never got the sense he was trying to be mysterious or that he had something to hide. It seemed more like he thought I was going to judge his answer- not that I was asking anything worth judging. That or he just could not talk about himself.
A typical exchange:
Me: So, siblings?
Joe: Yup.
Me: Brothers? Sisters?
Joe: Both.
Me: How many?
Joe: A bunch.
Then silence.
You can only ask so many questions getting short answers before you feel like you're interrogating someone. When he spun the questions back to me, I tried to tell stories, keep things going. But you don't want to just ramble on and on either.
After about half an hour, the conversation was just not going anywhere. I tried again to get him talking:
Me: Tell me something about yourself. What's something you haven't told me?
Joe: No. It doesn't work that way. You have to ask a question.
Me: (Pause) I thought I did? (smile trying to make light of the strange moment)
Joe: I am not an open book. You have to browse the table of contents for what you want to know. Then ask the question.
Me: (Longer Pause) I feel kind of put on the spot here.
Joe: It's not about being put on the spot. It's about asking the question.
Somehow that date lasted a full hour before we went our separate ways. And while during the date I knew I was ready to get out of there, it wasn't until I walked away and I felt enormous relief that I let myself realize just how bad it was.
Shame. Perfect in digital form. So painfully strange and awkward in reality.
We met at Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon. Not really a set-up for a great romantic moment, but certainly good for a first meeting and get to know you time. He was just as handsome, if not more so, in person. First great thing. Unfortunately, things began slowly going downhill from there.
Joe was so awkward! There was just something strange about him. He spoke very softly and between that and his accent, I found it difficult to hear him - though he also didn't speak a whole lot. I did nearly all of the question-asking. Usually if I got a question back it was just a "You?" turning the same question back on me. Meanwhile, he kept staring at me really intently. Now, eye contact is important in general, but hardly ever breaking a look away? That is just uncomfortable on the receiving end.
For the first half hour, I kept asking the questions and getting the short answers. It began to almost feel like he was evading telling me things about himself. I never got the sense he was trying to be mysterious or that he had something to hide. It seemed more like he thought I was going to judge his answer- not that I was asking anything worth judging. That or he just could not talk about himself.
A typical exchange:
Me: So, siblings?
Joe: Yup.
Me: Brothers? Sisters?
Joe: Both.
Me: How many?
Joe: A bunch.
Then silence.
You can only ask so many questions getting short answers before you feel like you're interrogating someone. When he spun the questions back to me, I tried to tell stories, keep things going. But you don't want to just ramble on and on either.
After about half an hour, the conversation was just not going anywhere. I tried again to get him talking:
Me: Tell me something about yourself. What's something you haven't told me?
Joe: No. It doesn't work that way. You have to ask a question.
Me: (Pause) I thought I did? (smile trying to make light of the strange moment)
Joe: I am not an open book. You have to browse the table of contents for what you want to know. Then ask the question.
Me: (Longer Pause) I feel kind of put on the spot here.
Joe: It's not about being put on the spot. It's about asking the question.
Somehow that date lasted a full hour before we went our separate ways. And while during the date I knew I was ready to get out of there, it wasn't until I walked away and I felt enormous relief that I let myself realize just how bad it was.
Shame. Perfect in digital form. So painfully strange and awkward in reality.
Friday, 27 September 2013
Dating Stats
It has been brought to my attention that there are actually people out there beyond some immediate friends who read this blog and enjoy it. It's also been raised to me that some people are disappointed in the lack of updates. I wish I could say that I disappeared from my dating blog because I've found bliss with the man of my dreams . . . really I've had some pretty big disappointments in the last few months and have been struggling to make light of it. No one wants to read a blog that is all "woe is me" right?
But I certainly have more so-terrible-you-can-only-laugh stories from the time I've been away from the keyboard. They're coming.
Partway through the summer, I was spending an evening with a girlfriend. I was venting of how tired I am of dating, especially first dates and I feel like surely I`ve been on enough that I warrant finding someone worth seeing for awhile. She asked how many dates I`ve been on and I guess a couple dozen.
The next day at home I got to wondering how accurate that number was. So I went through my calendar from the last 22 months that I`ve been living and dating in Toronto. I looked through my phone contacts and old text messages.
One thing that was somewhat alarming was that I discovered I`d been on dates that I just don`t remember. In my calendar would be `Coffee with name`or `Date with name`. I know I went. But I have no recollection of who the guy was. That`s how unmemorable some of the dates I`ve been on have been!
While recovering from the shock of that discovery, I compiled a list. Then I figured out my stats.
In 22 months, I have been on 33 first dates.
Out of those 33 first dates, I have been on a second date with 6.
Of those 6 men who had a second date, I`ve had multiple dates with 3.
Of those 3, the longest anything has lasted has been about weeks and 7 or 8 dates.
That gives me a 1 out of 11 average of finding someone where we have enough mutual interest to get together on multiple occasions.
No wonder I`m tired of dating.
But I certainly have more so-terrible-you-can-only-laugh stories from the time I've been away from the keyboard. They're coming.
Partway through the summer, I was spending an evening with a girlfriend. I was venting of how tired I am of dating, especially first dates and I feel like surely I`ve been on enough that I warrant finding someone worth seeing for awhile. She asked how many dates I`ve been on and I guess a couple dozen.
The next day at home I got to wondering how accurate that number was. So I went through my calendar from the last 22 months that I`ve been living and dating in Toronto. I looked through my phone contacts and old text messages.
One thing that was somewhat alarming was that I discovered I`d been on dates that I just don`t remember. In my calendar would be `Coffee with name`or `Date with name`. I know I went. But I have no recollection of who the guy was. That`s how unmemorable some of the dates I`ve been on have been!
While recovering from the shock of that discovery, I compiled a list. Then I figured out my stats.
In 22 months, I have been on 33 first dates.
Out of those 33 first dates, I have been on a second date with 6.
Of those 6 men who had a second date, I`ve had multiple dates with 3.
Of those 3, the longest anything has lasted has been about weeks and 7 or 8 dates.
That gives me a 1 out of 11 average of finding someone where we have enough mutual interest to get together on multiple occasions.
No wonder I`m tired of dating.
Monday, 12 August 2013
Wednesday, 24 July 2013
Thursday, 4 April 2013
Monday, 1 April 2013
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Send a Smile
In my experience, pretty much all of the dating websites have a system for you to signal other users that you are interested without actually sending a message. For the most part, I find these sort of notifications irritating. If you're interested in me, send a message. Sending a "smile" "wink" or "flirt" just puts the onus on me to make the contact when it's you who is supposed to be showing interest.
Today I had two different users send me smiles that just had me shaking my head and needing to complain to my coworkers about the disheartening process of online dating.
First, I received a smile from "KARLM". He sent a little note with his smile. (This site allows you to choose from a drop-down menu one or two sentences to go with your smile. Because people who can't write messages need even more assistance at being unoriginal.) His drop-down selection note said,
"I couldn't resist the fact that you are drop-dead gorgeous. Ask me how I'm going to rock your world."
Who is KARLM? A 60-year old man.
He also sent me an actual note to my inbox. The message this 60 year old man is trying to woo me with read,
"Here is some information about me. I have been a widower since 2001. I have 3 kids that are grown up . . . My hobbies include collecting antique cars and maintaining an active social life."
I'm sorry KARLM that you were widowed in 2001. But you know what I was doing in 2001? Turning 20 years old! Your children are probably my age - maybe even older. Perhaps instead of trying to pick me up on a dating site, you should send a son my way.
A few hours later, another user sent me a smile. There was no note, just a profile to read. And after over a year of online dating, this is one I haven't experienced yet . . . "Cool_Couple1"'s profile reads,
"We are a professional couple seeking a fun female to share good times with, Preferable she enjoys good food and great wine and likes to dance. Having fun and enjoying each other's company is most important. Although we have no expectations, should there be a connection, then being intimate would be great. If you are interested, don't be shy and send a smile."
Seriously why is it too much to ask that I find a boyfriend who is my own age and doesn't have a wife?
Today I had two different users send me smiles that just had me shaking my head and needing to complain to my coworkers about the disheartening process of online dating.
First, I received a smile from "KARLM". He sent a little note with his smile. (This site allows you to choose from a drop-down menu one or two sentences to go with your smile. Because people who can't write messages need even more assistance at being unoriginal.) His drop-down selection note said,
"I couldn't resist the fact that you are drop-dead gorgeous. Ask me how I'm going to rock your world."
Who is KARLM? A 60-year old man.
He also sent me an actual note to my inbox. The message this 60 year old man is trying to woo me with read,
"Here is some information about me. I have been a widower since 2001. I have 3 kids that are grown up . . . My hobbies include collecting antique cars and maintaining an active social life."
I'm sorry KARLM that you were widowed in 2001. But you know what I was doing in 2001? Turning 20 years old! Your children are probably my age - maybe even older. Perhaps instead of trying to pick me up on a dating site, you should send a son my way.
A few hours later, another user sent me a smile. There was no note, just a profile to read. And after over a year of online dating, this is one I haven't experienced yet . . . "Cool_Couple1"'s profile reads,
"We are a professional couple seeking a fun female to share good times with, Preferable she enjoys good food and great wine and likes to dance. Having fun and enjoying each other's company is most important. Although we have no expectations, should there be a connection, then being intimate would be great. If you are interested, don't be shy and send a smile."
Seriously why is it too much to ask that I find a boyfriend who is my own age and doesn't have a wife?
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Comment dit-ons "verbal abuse" en francais?
Sometime early last summer I went on a date with "max8803". It was an okay date. Beforehand, one of the things that interested me about him is that he's originally from Quebec City (I used to live and work there). But as the date went on, I began to feel like the main thing we had in common was our love for Quebec City.
I remember telling a friend afterwards, that at one point when I was talking during the date, I could see that he was quite "taken" by me. At the time, I remember wishing that I felt the same and wondering when I would sit across from someone and we'd both be feeling that.
The only thing that was somewhat awkward about the date was that he kept wanting to kiss me. I'm fine to end a first date with a kiss, but multiple kisses in the middle of a pub in daylight is more awkward to me than romantic. We didn't have any contact after that first date.
Until recently . . .
I logged into my online dating profile and in my inbox was a message from "max8803". I recognized his profile picture and was surprised to hear from him. I was even more shocked when I read the message . . .
"Salope ! je me rapelle tres bien de toi ... tu es une chienne
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
I speak French, so I knew that the translation is,
"Slut ! i remember you well ... you are a bitch" (excessive exclamations marks)
Firstly, I'm baffled by what could possibly have caused such extreme anger from this man 9 months after we had a single date.
Secondly, I could not have been that terrible because he was trying to make out with me throughout our date. I can only guess that my reluctance sparked his anger?
Thirdly, it's sad that there are people out there who actually will just sit down at their computer to send nasty verbally abusive messages to others.
Finally, I guess I have underestimated the effect I can have on men. If one date has him hanging on to anger this much after all this time, who knows who else out there is reeling from a couple hours of my presence.
I remember telling a friend afterwards, that at one point when I was talking during the date, I could see that he was quite "taken" by me. At the time, I remember wishing that I felt the same and wondering when I would sit across from someone and we'd both be feeling that.
The only thing that was somewhat awkward about the date was that he kept wanting to kiss me. I'm fine to end a first date with a kiss, but multiple kisses in the middle of a pub in daylight is more awkward to me than romantic. We didn't have any contact after that first date.
Until recently . . .
I logged into my online dating profile and in my inbox was a message from "max8803". I recognized his profile picture and was surprised to hear from him. I was even more shocked when I read the message . . .
"Salope ! je me rapelle tres bien de toi ... tu es une chienne
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
I speak French, so I knew that the translation is,
"Slut ! i remember you well ... you are a bitch" (excessive exclamations marks)
Firstly, I'm baffled by what could possibly have caused such extreme anger from this man 9 months after we had a single date.
Secondly, I could not have been that terrible because he was trying to make out with me throughout our date. I can only guess that my reluctance sparked his anger?
Thirdly, it's sad that there are people out there who actually will just sit down at their computer to send nasty verbally abusive messages to others.
Finally, I guess I have underestimated the effect I can have on men. If one date has him hanging on to anger this much after all this time, who knows who else out there is reeling from a couple hours of my presence.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Suitors from Afar
The messages from men overseas keep on rolling in! It honestly confuses me, because all of my profiles very clearly state that I'm looking for someone living a reasonable distance from me. Outside of my city I could consider. Outside of the province? Country? Continent? Really?
"vickyrulz" messaged today,
" Hi would like to be your friend.... probably it may not be best way to ask but I think it should be simple and genuine .... hope you reply... Take care "
Nothing wrong with his message. But the fact that he's living in Bombay, India I think will make it difficult for us to hang out and become the friends he's hoping for.
"mareksolarik" wrote to me last week,
" Beautiful woman, I would like to meet you. I am from Europe, I work as a physiotherapist and maser, and specializes in feet. I met a number of amazing woman for life together. "
I guess what confuses me more than him messaging me from Europe, is that he's apparently already met a number of amazing women to spend his life with.
I love travel and I have actually had very few relationships with Canadian men. But it always started with us being in the same place. A long-distance-across-the-ocean-relationship isn't really what I'm looking for.
"vickyrulz" messaged today,
" Hi would like to be your friend.... probably it may not be best way to ask but I think it should be simple and genuine .... hope you reply... Take care "
Nothing wrong with his message. But the fact that he's living in Bombay, India I think will make it difficult for us to hang out and become the friends he's hoping for.
"mareksolarik" wrote to me last week,
" Beautiful woman, I would like to meet you. I am from Europe, I work as a physiotherapist and maser, and specializes in feet. I met a number of amazing woman for life together. "
I guess what confuses me more than him messaging me from Europe, is that he's apparently already met a number of amazing women to spend his life with.
I love travel and I have actually had very few relationships with Canadian men. But it always started with us being in the same place. A long-distance-across-the-ocean-relationship isn't really what I'm looking for.
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Saturday, 2 March 2013
A Devotee To My Inner Goddess
I've been holding on to this gem of a story for far too long . . .
Awhile ago, I received a message from "mokkssh". I don't know how to begin to comment on what he wrote to me. So I'll allow him to do the rest of the talking.
" would you love to create an ambience where it would be more passionate and making love together. something more matured than just jumping into bed and having sex. flirting, teasing, passionate kisses are flowing like the sparkles from the champagne .. creating mutual romantic, physical and alluring sexual love making chemistry, which is so erotic and exotic ..
we sitting and relaxing in a tub bath, filled with hot bubbles and salt, you relaxing on my chest and i am massaging your back and squeezing you in my arms, nibbling your back and your neck and your ear lobes .. bitting you and caressing you in my arms .. we shower and touch each other making us aroused and in dire situation to tear each other apart ..
we step into a fantasy room which is filled with candles, you step out of the shower, wrapped around in a cloth. standing like a greek goddess shimmering in golden dust and walk towards me. every walk stomps my heart beat to the apex and drops it right down.
you lay on top of me and the cold water off your hair drips on my face, i feel the warmth of your body pressing into my chest. the nervousness and sweaty bodies makes the moment more intense, we breathing hard on each other .. looking deep into your eyes, looking at the candle lights shimmer in your eyes ..
pour a basket full of rose petals on your body and kissing every drop of exposed skin on your body .. picking every rose petal off your skin and blowing it away making way to expose your wet tantalizing skin .. kissing from your forehead to your earlobes, to your neck. going down, kissing every drop off your body, you try to escape, will pin you to the wall, kiss your back and your neck.
the intense love making on body to body, soul to soul. i would love to be a devotee to your inner goddess .. "
Reading the message makes me feel so gross I want to shower. Except he wrote about showering and I'm afraid to shower and think of mokkssh. Glad I showered after work today.
Awhile ago, I received a message from "mokkssh". I don't know how to begin to comment on what he wrote to me. So I'll allow him to do the rest of the talking.
" would you love to create an ambience where it would be more passionate and making love together. something more matured than just jumping into bed and having sex. flirting, teasing, passionate kisses are flowing like the sparkles from the champagne .. creating mutual romantic, physical and alluring sexual love making chemistry, which is so erotic and exotic ..
we sitting and relaxing in a tub bath, filled with hot bubbles and salt, you relaxing on my chest and i am massaging your back and squeezing you in my arms, nibbling your back and your neck and your ear lobes .. bitting you and caressing you in my arms .. we shower and touch each other making us aroused and in dire situation to tear each other apart ..
we step into a fantasy room which is filled with candles, you step out of the shower, wrapped around in a cloth. standing like a greek goddess shimmering in golden dust and walk towards me. every walk stomps my heart beat to the apex and drops it right down.
you lay on top of me and the cold water off your hair drips on my face, i feel the warmth of your body pressing into my chest. the nervousness and sweaty bodies makes the moment more intense, we breathing hard on each other .. looking deep into your eyes, looking at the candle lights shimmer in your eyes ..
pour a basket full of rose petals on your body and kissing every drop of exposed skin on your body .. picking every rose petal off your skin and blowing it away making way to expose your wet tantalizing skin .. kissing from your forehead to your earlobes, to your neck. going down, kissing every drop off your body, you try to escape, will pin you to the wall, kiss your back and your neck.
the intense love making on body to body, soul to soul. i would love to be a devotee to your inner goddess .. "
Reading the message makes me feel so gross I want to shower. Except he wrote about showering and I'm afraid to shower and think of mokkssh. Glad I showered after work today.
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Looking Much Younger Than Most
One of the new paid dating sites I've been trying out has been frustrating me. Not the site itself, but the users who are contacting me. I get sent "winks" from a lot of men who are completely age inappropriate. While I would ideally like to date someone within a few years of me, I have good friends with husbands 10 years older, so I'm willing to consider anyone within a decade. But if you're 15, 20 or 30 years older than me, it is unacceptable and a complete waste of my time going through your "winks".
This morning I received a message from "TalldarkMexican7". Nothing at all wrong with his message to me, it was actually quite good. But of course I'm going to read his profile to see if I think we're a good match. He says he's 35, born in Mexico, lived in Miami for awhile, is humble and honest . . . Then way way down at the very bottom of his profile, after his "About Me" section and all of his basic facts and things he's looking for, filed under "Faith" is this little note:
So TalldarkMexican7, you lie about your age to test that I'm really a person? I definitely do not follow your line of thinking.
Yesterday I received a message from "BingoBongo37". It was brief, didn't say much and I of course checked out his profile to see if anything sparked my interest. His basic profile information says that he's 37 and as I was clicking through his photos I thought that he looks rather old for 37. And then I checked myself for being too judgmental.
Reading through his profile I learn that he's originally from Eastern Europe, goes to the gym, loves to travel, follows a healthy lifestyle, etc. He also said that "I am looking much younger than most at my age" which I thought was rather bizaare considering I thought he looks old for his age.
Then he launched into what he's looking for in a woman . . .
Still looking... I am very selective, warm, passionate, and like every man... I want a woman who is beautiful and smart. Someone who I can share a connection with on an emotional, intellectual, and energetic level. A woman I can touch and hold, and communicate openly, someone who is highly intelligent, active, passionate, as well as sincere and genuine. The woman I can feel an incredible connection, an incredible energy with... passion, and extreme sensuality flowing... is that you?
P.S. I don't want biologically old women with low drive seeing me in their search results and daily matches, so I changed my age in this profile. I am 48. No offense please. Write to me.
Excuse me BingoBongo37. You don't want biologically old women? So you lie about your age by 11 years until the post-script? Not cool.
If you're not willing to be truthful about the basic facts about you, it's a terrible start.
This morning I received a message from "TalldarkMexican7". Nothing at all wrong with his message to me, it was actually quite good. But of course I'm going to read his profile to see if I think we're a good match. He says he's 35, born in Mexico, lived in Miami for awhile, is humble and honest . . . Then way way down at the very bottom of his profile, after his "About Me" section and all of his basic facts and things he's looking for, filed under "Faith" is this little note:
I believe in respecting all religions, Also if you read all the way up to here, I am not 35, I am a couple of years more, just want to see if I am talking to a real person or a machine, if you ask I will know its not a computer !!!
|
So TalldarkMexican7, you lie about your age to test that I'm really a person? I definitely do not follow your line of thinking.
Yesterday I received a message from "BingoBongo37". It was brief, didn't say much and I of course checked out his profile to see if anything sparked my interest. His basic profile information says that he's 37 and as I was clicking through his photos I thought that he looks rather old for 37. And then I checked myself for being too judgmental.
Reading through his profile I learn that he's originally from Eastern Europe, goes to the gym, loves to travel, follows a healthy lifestyle, etc. He also said that "I am looking much younger than most at my age" which I thought was rather bizaare considering I thought he looks old for his age.
Then he launched into what he's looking for in a woman . . .
Still looking... I am very selective, warm, passionate, and like every man... I want a woman who is beautiful and smart. Someone who I can share a connection with on an emotional, intellectual, and energetic level. A woman I can touch and hold, and communicate openly, someone who is highly intelligent, active, passionate, as well as sincere and genuine. The woman I can feel an incredible connection, an incredible energy with... passion, and extreme sensuality flowing... is that you?
P.S. I don't want biologically old women with low drive seeing me in their search results and daily matches, so I changed my age in this profile. I am 48. No offense please. Write to me.
Excuse me BingoBongo37. You don't want biologically old women? So you lie about your age by 11 years until the post-script? Not cool.
If you're not willing to be truthful about the basic facts about you, it's a terrible start.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
A Valentine's Day Reminder
It's Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because I had too many heart shaped birthday cakes growing up (my birthday is the 16th) that Valentines has just never excited me. I'm not anti-it, more just don't care.
Scrolling through my social networks this morning it's all Valentines Day notes and pictures and quotes. But I thought this one was fitting to share here.
Scrolling through my social networks this morning it's all Valentines Day notes and pictures and quotes. But I thought this one was fitting to share here.
Sunday, 10 February 2013
On A Snowy Winter Day
We had a big snow storm the other day which left a lot of people (including myself) huddled up inside with nothing much to do but rest and wait for the storm to pass. Apparently this made the men on the dating sites extra . . . how should I say . . . restless?
I joined a new dating site the other day. It's a paid site, but I got a great deal on it and thought I'd take advantage of trying out what in theory should be a more serious site, with little financial commitment. The very first message I received on the site was from "Hoodwink" with a subject line of "Hmmm".
"You know, I do enjoy f*cking ! As long as you don't get attached. Right"
Hmmm . . .
But Hoodwink wasn't the only man out there cruising the online dating world for a hook-up on a snowy winter day.
"loverboy1009" sent me this gem of a get-to-know you message:
"Wow I wanna come all ower you
Ohhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhh.ohhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhh
O yea
O yea"
I'm so tired of this garbage. I couldn't help myself. Before deleting and blocking "loveboy1009", I replied
"Wow. I guess I should be flattered that I turn you on to the point that you lose your ability to spell.
Stick to the sex personals."
I guess there was just something in the air that day besides the snow.
I joined a new dating site the other day. It's a paid site, but I got a great deal on it and thought I'd take advantage of trying out what in theory should be a more serious site, with little financial commitment. The very first message I received on the site was from "Hoodwink" with a subject line of "Hmmm".
"You know, I do enjoy f*cking ! As long as you don't get attached. Right"
Hmmm . . .
But Hoodwink wasn't the only man out there cruising the online dating world for a hook-up on a snowy winter day.
"loverboy1009" sent me this gem of a get-to-know you message:
"Wow I wanna come all ower you
Ohhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhh.ohhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhh
O yea
O yea"
I'm so tired of this garbage. I couldn't help myself. Before deleting and blocking "loveboy1009", I replied
"Wow. I guess I should be flattered that I turn you on to the point that you lose your ability to spell.
Stick to the sex personals."
I guess there was just something in the air that day besides the snow.
Wednesday, 23 January 2013
If There Is Anything That Offends You In This Profile
Just now I clicked on a profile because the photo caught my eye and the profile made such an impression on me I had to share it immediately. As a woman blogging about the frequently baffling behaviour of men on online dating sites, it was rather interesting to come across a man with complaints about the way women behave. But I think "mussikk" is beyond baffled - to me he comes across as downright angry. Or something. Read for yourself . . .
" I have to say this off the top. Some of you (Not all of course) say not to msg. you just "Hi" or something along those lines. Just a little insight to the way a guy might think about that. You ladies get alot of msgs. so most guys are thinking, "hey, I'll just shoot her a quick "Hello" and if she likes me, Hell I'll write her a novel. But, come on why would a person spend half an hour doing that without even knowing if you would reply? Nobody likes the "Cut and Paste" thing but I bet a lot of guys do that just to get around this.
Anyway, good luck and here goes!!
1. Drama? Move on, love yourself, not me first.
2. Thin means "THIN!" I don't have a type per say (I'm a face person if anything) but insult my intelligence and I don't think I'd reply.
3. Honesty is a very big deal with me but even more important is not putting yourself in a position that hurts to have to be honest.
4..Oh my God!! If you say you're "Educated" and are looking for the same, good Lord, at least proof read your profile and have your sentences make sense. Just saying something doesn't make it so. Want to add that I am not referring to someone who is learning English, I understand and appreciate your efforts!
The girl I would like to meet is "Actually" Average Body Type, I mean what I (and most people on the planet that aren't overweight) think is average. Some of you are overweight, say you're "Average" and even though you look great, it's a turn off! It's like you think a guy will just overlook the fact that you're BSing him just because you have a set of Boobs! Trust me only scumbag, DB's care about something that superficial. Athletic or Thin Body Type is awesome as well, remember, just because you are Athletic doesn't mean you have an Athletic Body Type, I say that specifically because, well the "Average Body Type" thing. There is nothing wrong with a few extra pounds, the part I take issue with is lying. Don't mean to offend anyone, I just want to be with her forever and I know what I want, as do you. More sweet than sarcastic but the latter is cool in small doses too. Honest, and Loyal. I will treat you like the center of my universe, like my best friend, and no one will ever know what we're thinking because it will be us against the world. I am a romantic guy who loves to hold hands, a surprise weekend away, talking, really talking, this means actually listening to what the other person is saying, reading between the lines. Sometimes it's nice to not have to actually come out and say it, if you know what I mean, your soul mate should get you when other are thinking "what the F*CK?!?. When I want something I don't give up easily and I am working hard to get to the next stage in my life. I know that journey will be so much better with a little devil/angel by my side. I have literally traveled to over 70% of Canada, love to cook, run, kite board, ride my motorcycle, play guitar, sing, write and I produce music/artists and help people when I can. Having said all that don't think I'm some sort of pretty boy pushover. I'm a guys guy and can use my hands, mind and muscles, not afraid to get dirty....not like that but, of course like that too lol. That's all for now and, I can't believe I actually have to say this but......Have a picture! Hell, go nuts, have 3 or 4!
P.S. Any personal information I have put in here, that [this website] has no business asking
people (such as "income/age/etc.") is incorrect, my pictures are what I look like
but the rest is not for some jackass to try and exploit if we click I'll tell you.
Best of luck to everyone and if there is anything that offends you in this profile, just ask yourself this.
Do I really think it's worth my time to comment on this guys profile if he's just going to delete my megs?? Do I, really?? "
Don't worry "muzzikk", I'm not offended enough by your profile to "megs" you about it . . . this blog entry will suffice.
" I have to say this off the top. Some of you (Not all of course) say not to msg. you just "Hi" or something along those lines. Just a little insight to the way a guy might think about that. You ladies get alot of msgs. so most guys are thinking, "hey, I'll just shoot her a quick "Hello" and if she likes me, Hell I'll write her a novel. But, come on why would a person spend half an hour doing that without even knowing if you would reply? Nobody likes the "Cut and Paste" thing but I bet a lot of guys do that just to get around this.
Anyway, good luck and here goes!!
1. Drama? Move on, love yourself, not me first.
2. Thin means "THIN!" I don't have a type per say (I'm a face person if anything) but insult my intelligence and I don't think I'd reply.
3. Honesty is a very big deal with me but even more important is not putting yourself in a position that hurts to have to be honest.
4..Oh my God!! If you say you're "Educated" and are looking for the same, good Lord, at least proof read your profile and have your sentences make sense. Just saying something doesn't make it so. Want to add that I am not referring to someone who is learning English, I understand and appreciate your efforts!
The girl I would like to meet is "Actually" Average Body Type, I mean what I (and most people on the planet that aren't overweight) think is average. Some of you are overweight, say you're "Average" and even though you look great, it's a turn off! It's like you think a guy will just overlook the fact that you're BSing him just because you have a set of Boobs! Trust me only scumbag, DB's care about something that superficial. Athletic or Thin Body Type is awesome as well, remember, just because you are Athletic doesn't mean you have an Athletic Body Type, I say that specifically because, well the "Average Body Type" thing. There is nothing wrong with a few extra pounds, the part I take issue with is lying. Don't mean to offend anyone, I just want to be with her forever and I know what I want, as do you. More sweet than sarcastic but the latter is cool in small doses too. Honest, and Loyal. I will treat you like the center of my universe, like my best friend, and no one will ever know what we're thinking because it will be us against the world. I am a romantic guy who loves to hold hands, a surprise weekend away, talking, really talking, this means actually listening to what the other person is saying, reading between the lines. Sometimes it's nice to not have to actually come out and say it, if you know what I mean, your soul mate should get you when other are thinking "what the F*CK?!?. When I want something I don't give up easily and I am working hard to get to the next stage in my life. I know that journey will be so much better with a little devil/angel by my side. I have literally traveled to over 70% of Canada, love to cook, run, kite board, ride my motorcycle, play guitar, sing, write and I produce music/artists and help people when I can. Having said all that don't think I'm some sort of pretty boy pushover. I'm a guys guy and can use my hands, mind and muscles, not afraid to get dirty....not like that but, of course like that too lol. That's all for now and, I can't believe I actually have to say this but......Have a picture! Hell, go nuts, have 3 or 4!
P.S. Any personal information I have put in here, that [this website] has no business asking
people (such as "income/age/etc.") is incorrect, my pictures are what I look like
but the rest is not for some jackass to try and exploit if we click I'll tell you.
Best of luck to everyone and if there is anything that offends you in this profile, just ask yourself this.
Do I really think it's worth my time to comment on this guys profile if he's just going to delete my megs?? Do I, really?? "
Don't worry "muzzikk", I'm not offended enough by your profile to "megs" you about it . . . this blog entry will suffice.
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
King of the Peacocks
I've written in the past (though not for awhile) about what I've dubbed " Peacocking ". This term is for habit of men on online dating sites to post photos of themselves in some form of shirtless/flexing/working out/posing in front of a mirror. I don't know what reaction the Peacocks want, but it just makes me uncomfortable.
Awhile ago, I came across a profile that truly astounded me. As I looked through his profile, all I could think was "This guy is the King of the Peacocks". So much prancing and showing off for one profile! I had to share the full glory of the photo selection. (Faces are blurred to protect the shameless.)
He speaks for himself.
Awhile ago, I came across a profile that truly astounded me. As I looked through his profile, all I could think was "This guy is the King of the Peacocks". So much prancing and showing off for one profile! I had to share the full glory of the photo selection. (Faces are blurred to protect the shameless.)
(Yes, he is actually sudded up and dripping water, that is not my editting.)
He speaks for himself.
Sunday, 20 January 2013
I Am Okay With Changing That
Just the other day I blogged about receiving messages from men in other countries and noted that it is just rather strange to me. I've recently received a message from "mi_the14_u" who, while closer than Portugal and Turkey (the subjects of the last blog), is still across the border.
I found his message to be both presumptuous and pushy. I'll let you judge . . .
" Oh my gosh a girl who is honest on here and loves to make out as well. LOL, We should meet up and try that sometime. After a great date of course and after a nice soft kiss....... I like what I see very much so and would love to get to that point but first comes first and we need to decide to change the rest of our lives and meet up and start the kick ass fun together. What do you say.. Do not say no or you will miss out in a great guy who will be there for you in all the ups and downs of life. More ups of course... I know I am in the states but I am ok with changing that. In fact I am working on it since my girls are in Canada and I am here for them from Washington state. So enough about what I want. what do you want.
Let me know and lets start making it come to pass.
Talk to you soon
[real name] "
The fact that he's stating that he's working on coming to Canada as he pursues someone in Canada (me) is just too suspicious for me.
"mi_the14_u" asked what I want? Someone in my city, or at least already in my country.
I found his message to be both presumptuous and pushy. I'll let you judge . . .
" Oh my gosh a girl who is honest on here and loves to make out as well. LOL, We should meet up and try that sometime. After a great date of course and after a nice soft kiss....... I like what I see very much so and would love to get to that point but first comes first and we need to decide to change the rest of our lives and meet up and start the kick ass fun together. What do you say.. Do not say no or you will miss out in a great guy who will be there for you in all the ups and downs of life. More ups of course... I know I am in the states but I am ok with changing that. In fact I am working on it since my girls are in Canada and I am here for them from Washington state. So enough about what I want. what do you want.
Let me know and lets start making it come to pass.
Talk to you soon
[real name] "
The fact that he's stating that he's working on coming to Canada as he pursues someone in Canada (me) is just too suspicious for me.
"mi_the14_u" asked what I want? Someone in my city, or at least already in my country.
Saturday, 19 January 2013
A Glimpse of My Character
I understand that when people are browsing an online dating site, there are certain physical traits that any individual finds attractive and you are drawn to people with those traits. I browse photos for ones that pique my interest and I usually look at the "body type" and "height" categories. It's not necessarily that I'll rule people out who don't quite fit my ideal, but certainly if they fall into what I prefer, it's a bonus towards them. So I understand that aspect of things.
But I would never message a guy and say "Hey, you're tall. I like that." (in more or less words or in any way at all.) "maaximumseduction" essentially does just that in his message to me. I'll share his message in a moment . . .
I've written before that a pet peeve of mine are messages that are obviously just copied and pasted to anyone the guy writes to. "maaximumseduction" admits that's what he's doing - yet does it anyway.
Anyway, I'll leave the rest of this post to the words from the man himself:
"Hi there checked out your profile as I think in your photo you appeared to be a curvy female and I do love that. Of course personality, character, intelligence are much more important for "some" of us men, so naturally wanted to send you a message and find out what you were like. Anyways check out my profile and if you feel there is a synergy there or an interest from your angle, please do get back and let's connect:
Hope your holidays are going great
[real name]
PS. Yes this is a canned message template, I send to women that are curvy, initially I spot and want to get to know. Saves me time from rewriting each time. I did want to reach out to you "personally" however! I hope you appreciate my brutal honesty. Most men would never admit that. Hopefully you can get a glimpse of my character!"
But I would never message a guy and say "Hey, you're tall. I like that." (in more or less words or in any way at all.) "maaximumseduction" essentially does just that in his message to me. I'll share his message in a moment . . .
I've written before that a pet peeve of mine are messages that are obviously just copied and pasted to anyone the guy writes to. "maaximumseduction" admits that's what he's doing - yet does it anyway.
Anyway, I'll leave the rest of this post to the words from the man himself:
"Hi there checked out your profile as I think in your photo you appeared to be a curvy female and I do love that. Of course personality, character, intelligence are much more important for "some" of us men, so naturally wanted to send you a message and find out what you were like. Anyways check out my profile and if you feel there is a synergy there or an interest from your angle, please do get back and let's connect:
Hope your holidays are going great
[real name]
PS. Yes this is a canned message template, I send to women that are curvy, initially I spot and want to get to know. Saves me time from rewriting each time. I did want to reach out to you "personally" however! I hope you appreciate my brutal honesty. Most men would never admit that. Hopefully you can get a glimpse of my character!"
Friday, 18 January 2013
Matches from Afar . . .
I've officially given up on one of the dating sites I've had a profile on. It was recommended to me by a couple friends last summer, but it's been pretty terrible. There seem to be very few people on it because I consistently see the same men on the site. Then the site's matches are ridiculous. This is the site I wrote of before that matched me with a gay man.
Recently I've received multiple messages from men from overseas.
Last week I received a "Hi" message from 'patux73'. Those one-word messages always irritate me, but then I was rather baffled when I clicked on his profile and it stated that he lives in Portugal. I mean, cool, I'd love to see Portugal one day, but not by going to have a first date you know?
Just yesterday, 'Cornelly1' messaged me:
" u r gorgeous
i wish i was in toronto :)) "
I thought maybe he was elsewhere in Ontario. A quick click at his profile revealed he is in Istanbul, Turkey.
Why users in Portugal and Turkey are viewing my profile (when I clearly state in my settings and preferences that I'm looking within a 75 kilometre radius - the smallest radius offered on the site), I have no idea. But I must be popular with men in Turkey, because 'turksir_74' is also from there. He wrote:
"Hi from Istanbul Turkey. I know you are far away but if you would be open to talking, getting to know each other and dealing with long distance and time difference I would like that. I am looking for a serious woman and interested in marriage and a family. Hope to hear from you soon."
Now I am looking for a serious relationship ideally. But when a man starts out by approaching me from another country and saying he wants marriage, I can't help but feel suspicious.
Or maybe I should just move to Turkey to find a boyfriend.
Recently I've received multiple messages from men from overseas.
Last week I received a "Hi" message from 'patux73'. Those one-word messages always irritate me, but then I was rather baffled when I clicked on his profile and it stated that he lives in Portugal. I mean, cool, I'd love to see Portugal one day, but not by going to have a first date you know?
Just yesterday, 'Cornelly1' messaged me:
" u r gorgeous
i wish i was in toronto :)) "
I thought maybe he was elsewhere in Ontario. A quick click at his profile revealed he is in Istanbul, Turkey.
Why users in Portugal and Turkey are viewing my profile (when I clearly state in my settings and preferences that I'm looking within a 75 kilometre radius - the smallest radius offered on the site), I have no idea. But I must be popular with men in Turkey, because 'turksir_74' is also from there. He wrote:
"Hi from Istanbul Turkey. I know you are far away but if you would be open to talking, getting to know each other and dealing with long distance and time difference I would like that. I am looking for a serious woman and interested in marriage and a family. Hope to hear from you soon."
Now I am looking for a serious relationship ideally. But when a man starts out by approaching me from another country and saying he wants marriage, I can't help but feel suspicious.
Or maybe I should just move to Turkey to find a boyfriend.
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Could I Interest You?
While I wish that my silence on the blog recently could be because I've found someone, I remain single and searching. My dating scene has been relatively quiet. I met a friend of a friend's husband and had hopes it would be different because I actually met someone in person rather than online. But it ended really before it ever really began. I was quite upset about it at first and felt rather silly at the same time that I was upset when we'd only had a couple of dates. A friend pointed out that when a relationship ends, women mourn not just what was, but the hope we'd had for what was to come. Completely true and completely accurate about why I was really upset . . . back to square one . . .
I'm currently debating about how to proceed. I'm really tired of the dating sites I've been using, but I still lack ideas for how else to meet someone. So I haven't deleted my accounts yet - which is good for my readers because I have some real gems stored in my inbox to share here.
"wildcowboy13" messaged me:
"Hey. I'm looking for a serious f*ck buddy :) Could I interest you?"
His profile however was deleted before I could check him out or respond. If you're going to send that blunt of a message, you think you'd want to stick around for a response! Not that I would have given him what he was asking for.
More gems to come soon . . .
I'm currently debating about how to proceed. I'm really tired of the dating sites I've been using, but I still lack ideas for how else to meet someone. So I haven't deleted my accounts yet - which is good for my readers because I have some real gems stored in my inbox to share here.
"wildcowboy13" messaged me:
"Hey. I'm looking for a serious f*ck buddy :) Could I interest you?"
His profile however was deleted before I could check him out or respond. If you're going to send that blunt of a message, you think you'd want to stick around for a response! Not that I would have given him what he was asking for.
More gems to come soon . . .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)