Daydreaming on the First Date

I went on a date tonight.  I wasn't really excited going into it, because honestly I rarely get excited for any dates anymore.  The disappointment after is harder to take.  But I was kind of hopeful.  There was just something about this guy, I liked the personality that was coming across in his profile, our emails and our texting.  And you know, I've been doing this dating thing for so long now, that I can't help but think that it's got to finally be time for me to find someone.  So maybe tonight was going to be it!

Except it wasn't.

I met him at a pub downtown.  I feel cruel saying this, but my first impression was that I found him less attractive than how I'd interpreted his photos to be.  But you know, looks aren't everything.  If a guy has a great personality, if we have great chemistry, that makes up leaps and bounds for typical good looks.  So, I sat down and stayed positive and open-minded.

The guy didn't do anything wrong.  I feel terrible considering that my disappointment may imply wrong-doing on his part.  He seemed very nice, personable.

As the date went on though, I knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere.  Not because of something he said or did, but because of my internal monologue.

I found myself not liking some things he said.  But realized that if I were to tell someone the things I didn't like, it would sound nit-picky.  You don't nit-pick at people you're into.

But even worse, I caught myself a few different times daydreaming instead of truly listening to what he was talking about!  (Often it was his cat.)  If my attention is being lost after an hour and a half, what long term hope of interest is there?

And so the date ended on a friendly but non-committal note.  And as soon as I was driving away, I let myself really admit that I just wasn't into him.  Which meant another failed attempt.

Now I'm fighting again to not let this make me disheartened.

But it is disheartening.

Trying already to pick myself back up and keep on searching, I just completed an application form I'd been sent the other day, for a television dating show.  Seriously.  I'm ready to try just about anything if it means I could just stop searching!