A few weeks ago I began messaging with "whodatt1977". It went through the usual stages of messaging through the dating site, then texting and talking on the phone. Except that this time it seemed different.
It wasn't until talking with whodatt1977 that I was able to articulate something I've been missing in so many of the men that I've been dating. I want to be challenged. I want to be respected, but I want to feel challenged. From the start, that's what it was like with this guy. He was opinionated and vocal but respectful. I felt like my boundaries would be pushed yet he seemed to care about my comfort zone.
There were many things that I admired about whodatt1977. He's a social worker, working with adults who are both addicts and mentally ill. He's going back to school in the fall to get his masters to specialize in working with disadvantaged youth. He used to play semi-professional sports. While he's very athletic and a total gym nut, he loves music and enjoys going to see musical theatre.
We were looking for the same things: to get out of the dating scene and into a long term relationship. He'd like to get married and is very open to having kids down the road. Excellent to know, because when that's what I want in my future, I don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't want that.
But above all, I just liked how this guy communicated with me. I liked that he wasn't pushy while still firm in his views. He was flirtatious - even explicit at times. This is how I really knew I was into this guy - I wasn't put off by it! Because it was in the context of getting to know me and showing genuine interest in me.
We were set to go on a date on a Sunday. For the first time in months, I was super excited for a date. I really liked this guy before even meeting him. He too often said things to me like, "I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but I really think we're going to hit it off." Could this be the guy who would get me off the the dating scene? . . .
The Friday before our date, we were talking and texting all evening. I was up really late talking with him. Saturday morning, I was up early to teach a class. As I was rushing to get out the door, he started messaging me and it's still all great stuff. We were messaging right until I went into teach and said we'd talk later. While I teach, I turn my phone into airplane mode. As soon as my class was done, not even quite an hour later, I turned my phone back on. It immediately goes off - he's already messaging me which has me smiling.
His message said, "You're not going to believe this. My ex just told me she's pregnant and it's mine."
Um . . . what?
I wrote back, "Are you serious?", thinking that perhaps this was just a really off-coloured joke to get me going or test me somehow.
He replied, "Yes. I am in shock. We hooked up 1 time in March and now this. Going over now to figure this out."
I was absolutely floored. As I drove back home, I was literally laughing out loud but in a I-dont-know-how-to-react kind of way. I felt like I wanted to cry, but the whole situation was so ridiculous, so shocking and so just absolutely my kind of dating luck . . .
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